Love Yourself, the Way You Love Someone Else

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Life is tough. It’s messy. It’s complicated. And, it doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

But, it’s also beautiful, because in that mess of complexity and imperfection we find things like hope; inspiration; and greatest of all, love.

Love is disruptive. It hits us unexpectedly, sweeps us off of our feet, and floors us.

Love is immersive. Even if we are cautious at the beginning, and initially hesitant to allow love to befall upon us, once we do fall it becomes all consuming. A tsunami of emotion that completely enraptures us. A bombardment of thunder and lightning that electrifies us. A wildfire of passion and heat that engrosses us.

Love is transformative. It can give you butterflies in your stomach, energy into the wee hours of the morning, motivation to finally get back into the gym, and inspiration to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and try things you’d never previously consider, or never thought you’d try.

We let this disruption, immersion, and transformation happen because it feels simply magnificent. We so freely and willingly surrender ourselves to it while sitting high on top of our cloud of elation.

Yes, it’s true, love is amazing.

But what is even more amazing is how we act when we are in love and how we treat the person we are with; the person that becomes the apple of our eye, the object of our affection.

We marvel at their strengths.

We celebrate their successes.

We appreciate their efforts.

We invest time in them, and with them.

We hug, kiss, caress, and make love to them.

We surprise them with gifts.

We do things for them or with them that we may or may not like, because we know it will bring a smile to their face.

We compliment them, and remind them how amazing they are. Even when they don’t agree with our compliments or affirmation, we do it anyway, because we know better.

We build them up.

We encourage them.

We overlook their shortcomings.

And no matter what: we love them, despite their faults and imperfections.

It’s amazing the things we do for another person, and the positive feelings that we subsequently experience when we are in love and floating around in the golden trifecta of disruption, immersion, and transformation.

But, what if I told you that you don’t need another person to partake in this otherworldly experience?

You can get every flutter of those butterflies, every morsel of energy, every wave of electricity, and every ounce of inspiration simply from loving yourself.

Imagine if we all loved ourselves how much happier we would be. Imagine what our lives would be like if we loved ourselves the way that we love others; if we were so freely and willingly ready to surrender ourselves to the notion that we are incredible, imperfect, beautiful, amazing human beings, completely capable of doing anything we set our minds to.

Love yourself.

Love all of yourself.

Every freckle. Every fiber. Every cell. Because they are part of you, and you only get one body.

Every wrinkle. Every stretchmark. Every scar. Every grey hair. Because these are badges of honor; crests that show that you have lived a life of experience that includes laughter and pain – both of which are critical for growth.

Love your smile. The way you walk. The way you talk. Your height. Your eyes. Your hair. Your hands. Your feet. Your body. This is your presence in the world. Stand tall and proud, and own it, because there is only one of you.

Love yourself for the things your good at. Maybe its public speaking, or writing, or telling stories. Maybe its painting, or drawing, or composing music, or photography. Maybe its gardening. Maybe its caring for others. Maybe it’s being excellent at math, or science or computers. Maybe it’s inspiring people. These are your gifts.

Love your personality. Every aspect that makes you funny, or smart, or charming, or a worry wort, or constantly on time, or constantly late, or daring, or adventurous, or outgoing, or shy, or silly, or any other combination of the infinite number of things you can be. These things make us unique, and it is this combination of things that allow us to uniquely share our gifts with the world.

Love your faults and the things you’re not good at. These things make us human. They make us real. They give us something to work on. And remember, what we may find as a “fault” someone else is likely to find as charming or endearing about us. So, if you think you’re a huge clutz and you’re always tripping or knocking things over, I’d wager that there is someone out there that thinks its absolutely adorable and will shake their head while watching you, with a huge grin on their face.

Love your hopes, dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. Whatever it is you want to do with the world, and for the world. This is your spirit. This is your soul.

Love yourself.

And do the things for yourself that you would do for another person that you would love.

Marvel at your strengths.

Celebrate your successes.

Give yourself credit for your efforts.

Invest time in yourself.

Nurture and pleasure yourself.

Reward yourself.

Do the things that you enjoy.

Remind yourself how amazing you are, and how far you’ve come. There’s a long road that led you here, but you made it.

Build yourself up.

Champion yourself.

Give yourself a break.

And no matter what: love yourself, despite your faults and imperfections.

I promise, promise, promise that once you do, you will forever change your life. And, as a bonus, you’ll be able to love others even more.

xoxo,

H